As I’ve made abundantly clear, I’m not a big fan of this day. For one thing, I lost my niece Holly in a car accident on February 14th, twelve years ago and to be honest, the day lost all of its appeal after that. It’s been hard for anyone in my family to think of love and hearts in combination with abject loss and heartache.
And even if the day hadn’t been sullied by tragedy, I’ve never been one of its biggest fans. Love has always been an ephemeral state for me; never lasting long enough (in spite of the years) to ever “ seal the deal”. Yes, it’s true…I’m currently working on a duopoly that I’m beginning to think will develop some staying power….someday. This is good because in spite of having horrendous luck in previous relationships, I am indeed a romantic. I want desperately to believe that this age-old notion still exists and is out there floating around waiting to pounce on everyone in the market for it like some ugly nebulous alien with tusks and decent arms; a 20th Century Fox film kind of Predator who comes to Earth to hunt down emotions and make them his own or to make them hostages….or ‘to serve man’ or did Predator make Arnold and company hostages or did he just kill every living thing? Can’t remember; haven’t seen the movie in years.
While my Valentine’s Day will be just another Monday, I want you to have a joyous one. If you’re thinking of doing something low-key, like enjoying a nice quiet dinner at home and a movie, I will recommend romantic movies you can Netflix. Is that now a verb???
Come on now, I can hear the collective groans from guys who hate and loathe and abhor ‘chick flicks”, but come on fellas, you can tolerate a ro/com (a romantic comedy) just this once. It is Valentine’s Day.
What? Would I lie to you?? I don’t lie.
You trust me, right?
Ignore the photo. It was taken on a day when my allergies were flaring up.
Here are the suggested romantic movies and they’re listed in no particular order:.
First up: Creator
Harry Wolper (played by Peter O’Toole) is a Nobel prize laureate in biology, obsessed by the possibility to clone his beloved late wife, Lucy. Helped by the student Boris Lafkin (Vincent Spano) and an eccentric egg-donor girl, Meli (Mariel Hemingway), Dr. Wolper finally succeeds in the cloning process, but the events leading to this achievement create strong bonds between himself and Meli, and also between Spano and his schoolmate, Barbara (Virginia Madsen). In the end, Harry realizes that he is in love with Meli, and he then decides that Lucy can’t ever “be”.
It is funny, tender and poignant.
SCORE: Get your date drunk first and you just might!
Doc Hollywood is all about Dr. Benjamin Stone (Michael J. Fox) who’s this hotshot young doctor who longs to leave the drudgery of the emergency room and finally gets his change and more money and less work at a glitzy, high dollar plastic surgeon’s clinic on the West Coast. On his last day, Ben’s relationship with his co-workers is presumed to be anything but a warm one, as none of his colleagues will join him for a drink afterwards, and a celebratory cake in his honor has an iced portion of the phrase “Good Riddance, Asshole” sliced out of it.
Ben’s cross-country drive in his 1956 Porsche 356 Speedster is interrupted when he crashes through a new fence in the rural hamlet of Grady, South Carolina. . Unfortunately for Ben, he crashes through a fence surrounding the yard of the local judge who penalizes him to community service at the local hospital. Though Ben offers to pay the judge for the fence in lieu of the community service, the stern judge increases his community service each time he talks back, eventually to a total of 32 hours.
It’s a take on the classic “fish out of water” theme, but still romantic and funny and conveys the quirks of small town Americana in a fairly accurate, but loving way.
A Little Romance stars a very young Diane lane and a very old Laurence Olivier. It was her first film and his last one. Sweet and a real tear jerker unless you’re a cold-hearted son of Britannia with absolutely no soul.
Lauren King (Diane Lane) is 13 years old, highly intelligent, and rich. She’s an American Girl living in paris with her mom and stepfather., the sixth in a series. They live in Paris. Stepdaddy is the CEO of some vast American conglomerate currently stationed in the City of Lights.
Young Lauren spends her free time in reading Martin Heidegger and philosophy. Daniel Michon (Thelonius Bernard) is also 13 years old, highly intelligent, but poor. He’s a French boy from a poor Parisian subdivision who loves Hollywood films and who uses his talent with mathematics to make theoretical bets on horse races.
When the two meet and fall in love, Lauren’s flirtatious mother(Sally Kellerman) fiercely objects and tries to split the two up. Lauren and Daniel decide to run away to Venice, in order to “kiss under the Bridge of Sighs at sunset while the bells toll”, which they’ve been told will mean that they will be in love forever. They’re aided in this plan by Julius (Laurence Olivier), a kind elderly gentleman.
Beautiful movie and one of my all time faves. It can still makes me cry, some 31 years after I first saw it.
I’m one of those women who has a funny bone and if that’s appeased in the proper way, can a “funny boner” be far behind? The biggest erogenous zone on the body (male or female) is the brain. And for me, nothing can get me going like laughter. A couple that laughs together, can more than likely endure just about anything together. THIS, I firmly believe.
If your significant other is anything like me (and God help you if he/she is) then think “comedy” this Valentine’s Day. A few suggestions are as follows:
This movie is a 1976 comedy spoof from director, James Frawley (no relation to Fred Mertz) starring Stockard Channing and the brilliant, Joseph Bologna (as Dan Torrence, a very popular b driver with a bad rep) . It, along with Kentucky Fried Movie, was one of the first spoof movies. It gave birth to Airplane three years later.
It follows the maiden cross-country trip from New York to Denver, of an enormous nuclear powered called “Cyclops”, equipped with a bowling alley, swimming pool, formal dining room, piano bar (“The Oriental Lounge”), Automatic Washing System (“AWM”), Automatic Tire Changer, and The Flags of All Nations. A bomb planted by a saboteur (hired by the oil sheiks to discredit non oil-powered transport) and mayhem ensues.
The Big Bus was notorious for its mostly bad reviews and disastrous performance at the box office. Nevertheless, it has gained something of a cult following among fans of spoof comedies.
Here’s a little sampling. Film noir-ish and very, very funny!!!!
Dig Vic Tayback (TV’s Mel) !!!!
I first saw The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming as a child. Loved it then and I still adore it. It’s rarely ever played anywhere on TV; not even AMC and frankly, that’s a damn shame.
A Russian submarine draws too close to the New England coast when its captain wants to take a good look at America and runs aground on a sandbar near an island off Cape Cod. Rather than radio for help and risk an embarrassing international incident, the captain sends a nine-man landing party headed by his second-in-command Lieutenant Rozanov ( played perfectly by Alan Arkin, one of my favorite actors of all time). The come ashore to find a boat to help free the sub from the sand bar.
The men arrive at the house of Walt Whittaker 0 Carl Reimer), a vacationing playwright from New York City. Whittaker is eager to get his wife Elspeth (Eva Marie Saint) and two children, obnoxious six-year-old Pete (Sheldon Collins) and three-year-old Annie (Cindy Putnam), off the island now that summer is over.
Failing to convince the Whittakers that his group are Norwegians (all of the Russians are conspicuously dressed in sinister all black clothing), Rozanov draws a gun and promises no harm if the family provides information about military on the island (none) and police force (small), and gives them keys to their car.
It just gets better from there.
A few points of interest regarding this film, if I may. According to director, Norman Jewison, the film, released in 1966 at the height of the Cold War, had considerable impact in both Washington and Moscow. It was one of the few films of its era to portray the Russians in a positive light. Senator Ernest Gruening (D-Alaska) mentioned the film in a speech in Congress, and a copy of the film was screened in the Kremlin.
So, there you go. Movies are great. Romantic movies are great and guys, you really need to understand this about us chicks. You see, much of our romantic behavior and beliefs are hard-wired innately. This is bolstered by behavioral research into the effects of two crucial chemicals, norepinephrine and dopamine. When humans fall in love, researchers say our brains create dramatic surges of energy that fuel such feelings as passion, obsessiveness, joy and jealousy, but somehow this just seems more prevalent in woman…namely, because I’m one. Movies stimulate this in our brains and if you’re lady-love is mentally stimulated in this way then, well…uh, you get my drift. That said, you’d do well to sit down and sacrifice a meager 90-minutes out of your life watching a movie for her and with her. A movie in which romance and love makes everyone happier than shoot outs, car crashes and slow-mo shots of greased up, pendulous ta-tas.
At least on Valentine’s Day♥♥♥
Think about it and uh, while you’re at it…