Halloween Costumes With A Twist

Yes…Happy Halloween indeed.  And this blog has now celebrated the artistic and creative, yet strange  mosaic that is costumes for this festive holiday for the past three Halloweens.  This October 31 will be our fourth.  And each and every autumnal homage to ghosts and witches and women who really shouldn’t dress like Lady Godiva or Playboy bunnies, even for a holiday in which one is supposed to frighten, I always try my best to publish a post containing  photos of the strangest, most different and hilarious Halloween costumes.   Some are oldies but goodies and have been rehashed over the years; others are brand new.    And if you’ve got a costume party to go to, especially one requiring homemade costumes and you’ve got absolutely no idea what to go as, then borrow someone elses creativity.   This blogpost will serve as your one stop viewing.

So here we go again.    I will imbue you once again, gentle reader, with another look-see into the world of the macabre, the funny and hilarious, the unique, the expensive, the cheap, the clever, the wacky and let’s face it, if it’s on this blog, the totally tasteless.

A douchebag

Flipflops for Halloween.  Someone has an uncle who’s very creative…and probably gay.   This IS NOT the work of a heterosexual.  Incredible detail.  Uniquely brilliant concept.

The late, great artist, Bob Ross and his Happy Little Tree…Remember the soothing, golden voiced (audible Xanax) painter fella on PBS? 

A damsel in distress, tied by the villain, to the train tracks.  Woe is all of us!!!! 

Ah yes, the classic Halloween bag of weed…nothing scary about this, other than the price he might of paid for one of the biggest lids known to man.  

(PS…do they still call bags of weed “lids”???)

The wishing granting arcade game from the movie, “Big”.  Impressive attention to detail

Big Pharma…Candian Style

Cheerful counter service at the diner

M&Ms anyone???

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Cock Block…get it???

Very clever.

I really don’t want to think about where the head of the guy bringing up the rear in this centaur costume below.   God, can you imagine?   And this paunchy blond man with the stringy blond locks looks like he can really sweat in all the damnedest places . 

I AM Iron Man!!!

 Not sure what this ↓ costume is exactly or how this guy put it on, but I have a feeling this guy is gonna need a Moil to get it off.

Hey, it’s the Hamburger Helper Hand!!!!

Wendy has tats on her left arm.   Wonder if it reads, “Hot AND Juicy”???

This is a repeat from the several years.  It’s fabulous in it’s simplicity.  All I ask is that you have the bod to pull this off.

Otherwise, behold..the ULTIMATE sausage pizza!!

Tiger Woods.   This costume comes with golf club skewer, Nike cap, make up for fake wounds and hopefully, some humility

You gotta love the committment in this one!!!

I think this one is brilliant!!!

As a rule, I’m not a fan of costumes for pets, but this one was rather cool looking.

Dr. Octogon from “Spiderman”.   Clever.

Yes, scary costumes at Halloween can often make frightened children seek shelter by embracing the waist and groinal region of Padres.   There’s safety there!!!!

Tippi Hedren from the movie, “The Birds”.

One John Cusak’s first lead roles was in typical 80′s teen romantic comedy.   Teen angst among one outcast and one from a higher social class and the movie, Say Anything pulled that off as good, if not better than any other movie of that genre.   Cusak plays Lloyd Dobbler (the slacker/loser with a heard of gold) and he’s in love with wealthy class brainiac, Diane Cort (played by Ione Skye).   Both have just graduated  from high school.  Diane is going to study in England in the fall and Lloyd will spend his days deciding which color Chuck Taylors to wear that day…but they have the whole summer to either fall madly in love or not at all.   Diane has feelings for Lloyd, but with her impending departure to study abroad, she’s a bit hesitant to get involved.   She feels that would be futile.   So she breaks up with Lloyd which devastates him.  He decides to do what he can to win her back, so one of his ploys is to stand outside her window at night, holding a boom box which is blasting out  Peter Gabriel’s song, “In Your Eyes”–that’s ‘their’ song.  It was playing on the radio the first time Lloyd made Diane the “debutante” of the back seat of his boss Malibu.

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And now here’s a costume recreating that iconic scene:

I have a feeling mom’s choice of a natural delivery will not end well.    She will literally, never be the same.

Of course, I MUST insert the obvious joke here….”Trick or Teat!!”

The Old Spice Guy…

A penny for your thoughts, Copper??

 

I guess this is a Facebook Farmville  costume, but I’m not really sure.  

Anyone remember the great movie, “Mask”?   It’s about Rocky Dennis, a young man born with Craniodiaphyseal Dysplasia, an extremely rare, disfiguring, sclerotic bone disorder.  The movie starred Cher and Eric Stoltz as Rocky.  

Well, I hate to admit this, but I took one look at this completely tasteless costume and burst out laughing.  Having seen the movie several times, I knew who the costume was an homage to the minute I laid eyes on it.

I’ve included a photo of Eric Stoltz in character (full make-up, too) just to hammer home the resemblance.    Good lord!!

I found these pants for sale at a costume website.  Yes, this is an actual costume.  You can either go as Mr. Poopy Pants….OR…..Incontinence Man.    The choice is yours. 

 

Halloween is a time for scoring…..BIG POINTS with creative costumes!

Scary Missing Child On The Back of A Milk Carton Man

Hhhhmmmm, not sure if I’d find this snake or its handler very charming.     This is one time I’d have to have the stones to actually ask a man, “Gee, how do you keep it up?”

A very trapped groom.

 

An ostrich jockey????  Seriously.   Is there such a beast?   Granny Clampett rode one once in an episode of “The Beverly Hillbillies”.   There you go.

 

The Firefox logo

And finally, if you’re really broke, take a tip from Picasso and Ed Gein and pull out several different face shots in full page ads in various magazines.  Cut them up; place the various parts from different faces on your face–I don’t know, use tape or glue or spit, then go to your party as a scary guy or Steve Buscemi’s uglier brother…if that’s possible.

So, there you go…my annual homage to All Souls Day Costume-A-Rama.   

Happy Halloween, ya’ll.

The Halloween Post

Personally, I love this time of year.  Now through Christmas Eve, actually.   I love the chill in the air, the way it forces our T-shirts to morph into sweat shirts.   I love the social whirl; we’re busy; harried.  There are things to do, people to see.  The season changes and so do we.

This festive time of the year brings with it a glorious caloric and carbo onslaught.   We eat too much; we drink too much.  It’s a happy time; a poignant time.  Family comes together in joy and dysfunction; in unity and death threats.

Actually, this particular violence of which I speak is specific to my klan.  It’s usually reserved for late November and most of December, culminating on December 25th, the date of the Annual Kendrick Family Holiday Receipt Exchange.

But that’s another post.

An while October officially kicks off party season,  this really isn’t family time per se.  No, this is the month to party with friends and co-workers.   And this weekend should officially kick things off.   That’s when the most discriminating hosts, start hosting their Halloween soirees.

Have you been invited to a costume party?  Looking for a costume idea?  One that’s unique?  Different?   Offensive?  Then, you’re in luck, because I’ve done the searching for you and I have found many.  Hell, my Halloween post last year was a hit; maybe this one will be, too.

And well, since I’m a decent and generous sort,  I will imbue you once again, gentle reader, with another look-see into the world of the macabre, the funny, the unique, the expensive, the cheap, the clever, the wacky and let’s face it, if it’s on this blog, the totally tasteless.

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Not sure what this costume is exactly, but I have a feeling this guy is gonna need a Moil to get it off.

This is a repeat from last year’s post.  It’s fabulous in it’s simplicity.  All I ask is that you have the bod to pull this off.

Otherwise, behold..the ULTIMATE sausage pizza!!

If you’d like to be current and yo on your zeitgeist, then you can go with this Latex mask of my fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Baumgarten.  Yeah sure, the box will tell you it’s a mask of Sarah Palin, but nah…I know better.

She also had that same oddly shaped unibrow that went back to her ears, then almost completely encircled both of her eyes.

Yep, this is Mrs. Baumgarten. I always knew her face would make a great Halloween mask some day.   As teachers go, she too was a “meeeeyaverick”.

Of course, I MUST insert the obvious joke here….”Trick or Teat!!”

Uh, don’t ask because I can’t answer you.   I’m not sure there IS an answer!!

Lately, I’ve been really getting into the unintentional comedy that exists in Japanese culture. I know it’s my Occidental perception thereof , but trying to figure what they’re attempting to convey is very amusing. I’ve spent hours on You Tube watching Nipponese videos, game shows, Public Service Announcements and what have you.

They’re hilarious.

When I found a Japanese costume website, I couldn’t help myself. Here are a couple of offerings from those who slurp Miso under the Rising Sun.

As you can see in this costume, the Japanese have no hang ups about animal genitalia.

But they sure as hell have hang downs!!!!!

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Feast your eyes on the “Crotch Giraffe”. Or the Groinraffe maybe?

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And finally, if you’re really broke, take a tip from Picasso and several different face shots in full page ads in various magazines.  Cut them up; place the various parts from different faces on your face somehow…I don’t know, use tape or glue or spit, then go to your party as a scary guy or Steve Buscemi’s uglier brother…if that’s possible.

So, there you go. My annual homage to All Souls Day.

Be careful out there–this is the time of year when lots of things either do a bump or go bump in the night.

You do the meth...I mean math!!!

I’ll leave you with this: you ALWAYS spell Halloween with two eyes!!

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