Yes, I’ve Heard You

I’ve received the comments,   the emails…..the carrier pigieons’ messages with the smidges of bird doodie on the corners .

Why am I not blogging as much, you ask.

Well, kids for starters, I don’t love blogging like I used to.   It takes a great amount of time and neediness to keep a good, compelling blog good and compelling and current.    I am either fresh out of the desire or just plain too lazy to make the effort.   The spirit is gone.   So is the need for a “they like me…they really like me” pay off.     The reward now, is no longer  needing  the reward.

You see, when I started this effort in mid 2007,  I was a bankrupt soul.     Broke, sad, lonely, emotionally corrupt , needy, terribly insecure. I was very angry, bitter and so goddamn vulnerable.

I latched on to the blogosphere and liked it for a while.   It filled several voids, especially at a time was I was unemployed, had no where to go and no clue as to where to find it.   But I did something I normally don’t do…I joined something.   Or rather, I aligned myself with a faction from the seedy, squirrely, nerdy blog underworld, which distinguished itself with with misplaced narcissism and  daily pseudo-intellectual battles  with rival blogs or those that include  different ideologies.  Different is another word for wrong with these folks. And they are quick to defend their positions, right or wrong. And they are fierce. No one is picking on them in this cyber playground.

Picture if you will, a gangly pack of socially awkward, knit-trousered, pocket-protected four -eyed lads and lassies,  all vying for  readership, links back to their sites  and the attention of  some nebulous female blogger who with the help of a 40 year old thesaurus,  uses logorrhea  to seduce to the word- starved masses.    Word play is foreplay to these folks.      Use “ennui” correctly in a sentence and you’ve got three male bloggers,  two women and one as of yet gender unknown,  all vying for your undying love.

And uh….by the way, the photo  used in the profile belonging to that  ‘hot blogger of the month” who’s claim to fame is growing armpit hair in support for non-unionized garment workers in Latvia,  well that pic is  from 64 pounds ago, not to mention the fact that it was taken circa 1983.    Call me Sherlock, but the funked up Flock of Seagulls haircut was something of a clue.

But, who am I to talk. I was once one of the blogging ambitious.  I wrote about things I pretended to adore. I’d claim to love opera and express rabid fandom for Puccini and Verdi, all the while thinking this was actually  the name of a new lunch combo at ‘The Olive Garden”.     There is incredible pretentiousness among bloggers.   I was just as bad, just  guilty.  But that was before I gave myself a little New Age permission to be arrogant within reason. I have since realized the error of my ways.

There are many bloggers who think what they have to say merits a broadcast. That it should extend beyond print.     So, they start podcasts.    I abhor these things.     THINK:   Do it yourself Pirate radio stations on your computer with no edge, just ego.   I hated listening to them and I hated being on them.  I agreed to panel on a few and always pretended smack dab in the middle of my segment,  that my line dropped.    I’d just hang up and never explain what happened.  And after a while of searching for their own explanations—- the damned dirty ape phone or spotty Texas cell service —they finally figured I wasn’t interested.     I was never asked to return as a guest, either.

bush mission acccomp

Yeah…..

This blog brought me some joy, it’s also brought me a lot of misery.    I thought having it and maintaining it and playing the blogging game with others would  embolden me, make me stronger.   Nah….it just proved how porous and vulnerable my resolve actually was.     And sometimes, vulnerability isn’t such a bad thing.     But in battle, its everything.

Iv’e cut back on my Facebooking. I got tired of the maintenance and hearing  about everyone else’s perfect children and wonderful spouses,   about  perfect trips to exotic ports of call, and new homes and new haircuts and latest photos of these people and their uber fabulous lives  that really don’t exist beyond the borders of the computer screen in front of them.  I mean hey,  if you’re happy, right on, live to tell the tale,  but can you also please keep some of it to yourself?

I sound bitter, right?    I’m not.    Everyone should have a chance to sample public adulation, but like everything else, that too eventually gets old.     And right now this blogger feels her age, this blogs looks its age.    We’re tired.   So please note that  I appreciate your inquiries, but I’m just following the government’s lead and shutting down, slowly, surely and eventually, we will shut this bitch down completely.       Georgie H. sang it best.

I’m not saying goodbye right now. I’ll continue to write, just fewer posts.

Soon I will,  as I have for the past two years,  produce those weekly signature   recaps of American Horror Story which sees Season Three premiering on FX this week.  I will from time to time, continue to use this forum to admit what others won’t—that Molly Ringwald’s prom dress from the movie, “Pretty In Pink” was atrocious.    That  Tina Fey’s once very bright and shiny apple has lust some of its luster recently  and while  Michael J. Fox’s new show on NBC is well done, watching him act in the throes of his Parkinson’s is uncomfortable.  Sorry , it is for me, but it’s not enough to  get me to change the channel.    This is something with which I must contend.    He has to Ttry live with Parkinson’s every day.      I should be able to watch him deal with it, and work in spite of it,   for a mere 23 minutes (minus the commercials) per week.

Well kids, it’s been a slice.

 

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This entry was posted in Humor.

7 comments on “Yes, I’ve Heard You

  1. LK, times and people change. If not apparent now, soon it will be. I love your blog n writing style. I still recall the chats we’ve had n those times at the station. Love yah LK n embrace the change, it can be a good thing

  2. Good things come and Good things go. Bad things seem to hang around in their tacky clothes and cannot be banished without a new color of ribbon being worn by enough people. As you drift away in an apparently aimless misdirection, I shall miss you and your strangely-worded diatribes against sameness – just like most bloggers do. After enough fresh and chilling breeze blows through my awareness of my short-comings, I reluctantly close the window of newness and slink back to my comfy cardboard box and sulk. Bah! Humbug! People are just no damn good! Present company excepted, of course. As Harry Nilsson wrote in a song, ” Nothing lasts forever, but I will always love you…” Rhetorically speaking. ET

  3. Richard Lincoln Riddle says:

    Laurie,
    I listened to you on the radio for I don’t know how long and then KLOL went away. Many years later unfortunatly Mark Stevens died. Mark was many things to many people and though I did not know him personally, I knew him.
    I found your blog when you were grieving and it was one of the most heartfelt tribute’s that I found. I miss him and I know you miss him as do so many other people in Houston. I am sure that the blog has become burdensom and I understand. Please post what you can, we will be looking for it!

    Thanks, Lincoln

  4. S.D. Johhny says:

  5. Anna Reiswig says:

    I completely agree with you about Molly Ringwald’s prom dress! Also, I can’t wait for your AHS blogs again.

  6. David says:

    Thank you Laurie for putting forth such a commendable effort and so many consistently well-written and amusing posts. Your reminiscences of media from your youth were particularly treasured by me, having grown up in more or less the same “culture”. You don’t sound bitter to me at all. This post most wonderfully sums up the blogger ennui that we all knew must someday come, but cannot fully accept. Like this.

  7. kevinemmons says:

    Amen

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