Pulsus Mortuus Equus

This will come off as psycho babble I’m sure and many will think, as the title of this post indicates, that with all my attempts at self-discovery and all the self actualization IO try to introduce in my life, this IS “beating a dead horse”. 

Maybe  it is.  Perhaps I am, but I’ll take that risk.  You see, I think I’ve figured out something  lately.  I don’t exactly know what it is, but I have this feeling that it’s substantial…or will be.

It’s all about emotional alchemy.  

Alchemy. 

I love that word.  It describes so much.   And why not?  It’s so very applicable to so many things.  Etymologically speaking, alchemy is derived from the Arabic word al-kimia, which I think,  is an exegetical of Qur’anic science which is something akin to the Hebrew study of Kabbalah and all of  its mysticism. Although, whatever you do, don’t  either of these warring factions this and get that whole, “Why be at odds with each other,  because have so much in common??  I mean,  after all, you’re both sons of Abraham” thing going.

Alchemy in its truest sense, is both a philosophy and an ancient practice focused on the attempt to change base metals into gold.   It’s also been applied to the unyielding search for  longevity, perpetual youth and achieving ultimate wisdom. 

But in the new Millenium,  alchemy can also be used to describe that transformation of negative thoughts into solid gold examples of forward momentum and progression.   Instead of elixirs to do one’s bidding, one must use perspective. 

Change your thoughts, change your life.

New agers have been saying this forever, but until you ”get it” and can administer it daily in your the practicum of your life, it’s just a series of words;  gibberish otherwise.  And the key to “getting it” is to  ind a unified theory that would answer the query–how can you blend opposites and  find the perfect synthesis?    

Where did that come from?  It stems from miserable person (we’ve all known him..or her) who has to cordon off his/her life in segments and these segments can’t touch or overlap.   He/she can’t for whatever reason, blend  job, family, friends, entire belief system and all that is deemed holy.   So, if one looks in on this person’s life from the outside in, one would wonder why this person can’t unify these things.  Seems simple, right?  Well, sometimes the only reason he can’t (0r won’t) blend all these life factors is because he isn’t taking the time to measure out the stuff in the right amounts. 

He’s not doing this and because he’s not, he’s forcing  his life in these uniform sections…they’re all the same size whether they actually fit or not.   He’s forced them and that only works intermittently.  That means he’s wasting a tremendous amount of time and energy. 

If he just realized that bullets don’t work without a gun and a gun is only as good as its caliber of bullets.  Oh yeah sure, you can throw bullets at someone and hope to hit an eye,  I suppose and you can  bludgeon your adversary with an empty gun, but a loaded one is a much more formidable weapon.   The two work well together.  Get that, and you get how powerful this life synthesis can be.   

The reality surrounding alchemy– even metaphorically speaking–is that at any given time, there are strange, supernatural forces all around us.  They swirl around in the air like isotopes…or tiny bugs….and they land when and where they want and when they do, that’s when we suddenly, inexplicably feel compelled to make those turns we don’t know why we’re making.  These become those oh so circuitous paths that will lead us to where we need to be.  Circuitous indeed.  Sometimes we have to turn left in order to turn right, but we’ll ultimately get “there”.   Sometimes we have to go backwards before proceeding forward.  That’s proof life can be one big conundrum.   We go where we have to go; we have to go where we don’t want to go  and often that involves “going home”, which sometimes is a place we’ve never been before.   

And wanna  know what I’ve learned?  When you go “home”, you do it sometimes to relive moments that helped make you who you are.  I recently saw a video all about a rather poignant country song entitled, “The House That Built Me”.   That’s very true,  Our homes shape us, but so do old haunts and old schools.   These things are life’s very first molds.   That being said, you often  go home to compare and contrast.

This is more of that emotional alchemy at work.  Perspective takes over and suddenly, you realize how far you’ve come.   It doesn’t matter if you grew up in a shack and now live in a mansion….OR….if you grew up in a mansion and now live in something considerably smaller.   You’ve still taken a journey.

I have spent an inordinate amount of time idealizing all that I had, when in reality, it really wasn’t all that great.  Sadly, I’m only now beginning to grapple with that.  I wanted to believe I could go back to a place so far away–physically or in my head; delivery and arrival didn’t matter–as long as I did it.   I wanted to revisit the bedroom I had during my Jr. High and High School years and sit where I used to talk on phone…where I fell in love twice in my young life.  I thought that maybe going back to old places could help me recapture something; fill some void.     

But that can’t happen.  Too much has happened.  Too much has changed.  Namely me. I’m not the same person who lived in that bedroom; who talked on that phone; who fell in love with those young men.  I can only remember bits and pieces of what it was like, but that’s all.   And if scant memories are the only by-product of this venture, then what a hollow victory that is.   There are times when memories just arent’ enough and not even the magic of perspective can change that.   Emotional alchemy be damned.   

Even so,  that’s still proof the old adage is wrong;  the one that insists, “You can never go home again.“  The truth is, you most certainly CAN go home again.

You just can’t stay.

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Stephen Hawking: The Theory of Rela-Tiva-Diddy

He’s an intellectual phenomenon, really; the new Einstein of the new Millenium.

Stephen Hawking is a British theoretical physicist, whose scientific career spans over forty years. His books and public appearances have made him an academic celebrity and he has more titles than the Duchess of Ken.  Try these on for size:  he’s an Honorary Fellow of the Royal Society of Arts, a lifetime member of the Pontifical Academy of Sciences, and in 2009 was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, which is like the American equivalent to being knighted.

Hawking was the Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at the prestigious,  University of Cambridge for 3G years, taking up the post in 1979 and retiring on  October 1 of last year. He’s also a  Fellow of Gonville and Caius College at Cambridge and a Distinguished Research Chair at the Perimeter Institute for Theoretical Physics in Canada. He’s known for his contributions to the fields of cosmology (and no, that’s got nothing to do with Maybelline) and of course, quantum gravity,  especially in the context of black holes.

Insert your own Wanda Sykes joke here, please.

Hawking is the son of Dr. Frank Hawking, a research biologist, and Isobel Hawking.   He was always interested in science.     After receiving his B.A. degree at Oxford in 1962, he stayed to study astronomy.    He then moved on  to Cambridge and once there, he started developing symptoms of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS and known colloquially here in the States as Loud Gehrig’s Disease) .  This cost him almost all neuromuscular control –including his ability to speak.  He’s been confined to a wheelchair ever since.

OK, so you now know all this academic and biographical info about this incredibly learned man, but to many people who even have at least an inkling as to who he is, they continue to  refer to him as that “wheelchair guy who talks through computer thingy”.

Stephen Hawking has oftne been thrust to close to the forefront of my life for no reason other than I have some strange friends with even stranger senses of humor.  When I was at KLOL and the Stevens and Pruett Show, the legendary Chuck Shramek poked fun of Hawking unmercifully.   I wish I still had some of those bits, but I don’t.  Then I find out through another irreverant colleague, that Hawking has a fairly decent sense of humor himself.   It’s indeed to our advantage as a species that we realize that being brilliant doesn’t always negate having a good sense of humor or a decent personality.  The two don’t often go together, but in Hawking’s case they do.

Thankfully.

From what I understand, he’s been known to poke fun at his own situation–he’s well aware that his is a brilliant mind trapped in a virtually worthless body.   And that is his lot in life; one he has accepted. But as his lengthy intellectual paper trail indicates, his handicap hasn’t hampered him at all.

So with that, new Hawking-isms and Hawking-esque jokes and the like, keep cropping up all the time.  For example, here’s a photo of an homage to Hawking in plastic; his likeness in Legos.

And beyond that, there’s rapper who calls himself MC Hawking and he’s making Stevie out to be a gangsta bad ass. 

Well, sort of.

His satircal website, which hasn’t been updated in some time,  has some very interesting “photos” of Stevie hangin’ with a bevy of his homeys.

Here he is, swappin; Jo Lo stories with Puff Daddy/P Diddy at the Hip Hop Summit in New York a few years back.

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He’s seen here on stage ragin’ with the group, Rage Against the Machine.

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Here he is, doin’ it ‘old school’ with Eminem during a performance at the Big Petie D’Ambrosio Middle School cafetorium in Scranton, PA.

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Here is back in the early days, DJ-ing it NYC style at a rave in some warehouse in Sheepshead Bay. 

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And this is even more proof that he indeed a dude with gangsta roots.  He’s seen here at a Rolling Stone photo shoot with Run DMC and the Beastie Boys from the late 80′s.

 

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Still want proof that he’s a bad ass?   Here’s his mug shot taken by the Calumet PD after he was arrested for engaging in a drunken scuffle at a Bar Mizvah at the Airport Holiday Inn.   

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And the Hawking love comes in the form of video and audio, too.  He’s been immortalized in film.  This is from the movie, Knocked Up.  In this scene, friends of an expectant father are at the hospital and waiting on word of the baby’s arrival.  They get bored and hijack a few wheel chairs and ride them through the hallways.

The rest you can figure out yourself.

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The following is a joke that some might think is classic Hawking.   I have no idea what this You Tube video claims he’s talking about—I was stoned for most of my High School physics class,  but still for some reason, I think this is very funny. 

It’s just probably so…so…Hawking.

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And who knew there was a little ex-frat boy in The Hawk???   Apparently, his computer generated voice also allows his bodily functions to be audible.

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And last but not least, who knew Hawking is something of a racist?   This, despite his deep abiding friendship with so many rap stars????

  

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Oh really?

Well, my apologies if that offends.    There’s no accounting for taste and in humor, there’s rarely any of that.  

But be that as it may, Hawking has said he has no issue at all with the parodies, well save for that last video perhaps, but it’s been reported that he’s actually flattered that pundits and comedians find him worthy of being the subject of jokes, parodies and satire.  

All tastelessness aside, the reality is that many a truth is said in jest.  Since the beginning of time, comedy and humor have gotten us through a myriad of things.    We’ve nervously giggled our way through wars, the Inquisition, Senate Sub-Committees, lawsuits, final exams and marriage proposals.   Laughing and humor help us take the edge off otherwise extremely difficult situations.  And when you consider that this man, who once knew great normalcy, lives in a non-responsive body 24/7,  I  completely respect his ability to laugh and find the humor in life; his own and that which unfolds around him./

Good for you, Sir Stephen.

Good for you..

mc