Pleeze scuze Tommy cuz he be illin’
These are real excuses written by parents and submitted to administrators at several public schools throughout Tennessee (spellings and phrasing have been left intact)
Oh and much love to my brilliant friends and Vols at that great and venerable blog, Six Meat Buffet. I mean no disrespect with this post.
Well, maybe a little…..
.
1. My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.
2. Please exkuce Lisa for being absent she was sick and I i done had her shot.
3. Dear school: please ecsc’s John being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also on the 33.
4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating something fierce.
5. Please excuse Roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre, dyrea, direathe), the sh**s. [note: words in ( )'s were crossed out, as you see here] .
12. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.
15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don’t know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday. We thought it was Sunday.
17. Sally won’t be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
19. Ple ase excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
22. Please excuse Brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.
23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever,sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick,fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
I not sure if I should laugh (which I did) or worry. Is this real?
He be illin’ eh? It sounds like somebody’s baby-mama was jamming to RUN-DMC too hard drinkin’ 40 ounces and failed to get junior out of bed for school. What do you expect though? Anyone that condemns their offspring to the evil clutches of a government school should be sterilized in the first place.
Thoze awl sound like good xcuses to me. Wuts the big deel!
oh my God. I choked on my gum when I read this. See? It dangerous to read Laurie Kendrick.
“12. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.” Dude, lay off the chili dogs before school! This reminded me of the first LK post I ever read, the one where you described the effects of the drug Alli. Every time I see a Play-Dough fun factory, I think of you….
G-Girl….I welcome the comparison.
Mainly because I lived it.
Thank you, Sister.
LK