The world is inhabited by posers. Those who want to make themselves and others believe they’re anointed…by God in some cases; misplaced ego in most.

What is sophistication, really Lorraine? Knowing which fork to use during a specific course of a formal meal? That’s only partly the definition. I think it a defined and refined knowledge that comes through the acceptance of outside influences. It’s emotionally and philosophically leaving the comfort of your own mental backyard. I suppose it could be akin to mind expansion, the very concept so many espoused in the 60’s…but it’s more than that, too. It’s not through drugs as it was 40 years ago…it’s through enlightenment.

The most “sophisticated” person I know didn’t have the elan of Jackie Kennedy, or the poise of Grace Kelly nor did he live in luxury like the erudite William F. Buckley. This was a guy who lived in a tiny, cramped apartment he shared with stacks upon stacks of books. He was incredibly literate. When he spoke about a subject, I listened because he not only knew enough about that topic, but he also knew the back stories to antithetical topics.

I grasped what he’d say about Christian tenets, because he also knew about the Koran and Vedic principles and of course, the Talmud. He didn’t suffer from myopia like so many people I know. He understood what it takes to fully understand.

He also had the decency and the common sense not to laud his extremely well versed and well reasoned opinion over anyone.

That said, I think all too often, we confuse snobbery for class and we’re also lead to believe that being angry can be equated to deep thinking.

Hardly.

Being angry just makes you a candidate for a stroke.

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It would be easy to bury the past, but unless painful issues are properly dealt with, they’ll keep resurfacing until they are. What made “Steve” call me what he called me? I can ONLY imagine the pathology we’re dealing with here.

And it could be because he’s just a mean, lousy human being. There are bad apples, you know. People who are just inherantly evil. Basing everything he’s ever said to me, he falls under that category. Some would say sociopaths are made not formed. I’d bet shrinks would make an expception in his case.

I think another problem is that we depend on others to be barometers of our self worth. We let opinions…even that of total strangers shape us. How wrong that is!

We’ve got to get a handle on our insecurities and irrational behaviors. We need to stop and think things through and not be so quick to knee jerk reactions.

It’s not that we need to win the arguement, it’s that we argue fairly. But in the heat of battle, that kind of logic gets about as lost as logic.

Sad.

I can make a remotely educated guess as to what the problem, might be but I’m completely stymied as to how to fix it.

Why do you think people are so rude and tactless? I mean, what’s underneath?

But I still stand behind my premise that it’s a damn shame we have to deal with rude, tactless behavior on a daily basis. Whether it’s on 6th Ave in New York City or Peach Street in Altanta or at Hollywood and Vine. It’s regrettable.

My comment to you, while coming across completely Pollyanna-ish, still has validity. That we have to deal with two faced hypocrisy or vile, uncontrolled rage like “Steve’s” is a shame. I don’t help matters by reacting to his comment as I did, but I’ve never claimed to be a paragon of virtue either.

People espouse following Jesus and his teachings. And if not Jesus, then Buddha…Allah…pick a deity. The problem..as I see it…is that some of these people rarely practice what they preach.

I make no bones about who I am and who I’m not. I have significant spiritual questions. I won’t profess to be so arrogant as to claim that I am anything but human and flawed and errant. I have my good points too, but it’s that, coupled with my flaws that makes me refuse to label my compassion. It’s my opinion that if I did, it would make me an even bigger hypocrite. For those who label yet still sin? That makes them hypocrites, too. The worst kind in my book.

All I can do is vow to try harder.

I think we all can.

I started to read the Steve’s post, but decided it wasn’t worth my time. I know what you mean about wanting to defend yourself. I have a hard time not doing so, too.

I love NYC. It has an energy I can snort. Yet, I also love the slower, genteel pace of the South too.

If you read the comments of this post, then you can see rude, tactless people exist in every geographic corner of the planet. Nothing should ever replace civility and decorum.

I am, of course, referring to “Steve’s” comment. I should’ve eliminated it immediately and never responded, but I have this need to defend myself when attacked. Besides that, the abject vileness of his comment actually punctuated the point of my post. Even so, I was wrong for losing my temper.

That being said, the hypocrisy you mention, knows no regional boundaries either.

You say you prefer “the directness” of NYers as opposed to the “two faced” nature of Southerners. If that works for you, fine. Personally, I’m saddened by the fact that rudeness exists at all.

LK