“I’m Ready For My Close Up Now, Mr. Demille!”

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If the world is a stage, then I am Shylock in the middle of my soliloquy and my costume is (unbeknownst to me) partially stuck in my ass.

The last thing ANY of us want to feel is vulnerable…out there–all eyes on us, feeling incredibly exposed.

If you humiliate us–do we not blush????

Humiliation really isn’t the proper word to use here. I think it’s more of a particularly skewed self-awareness, courtesy of external forces. Now, I really think that’s the key here. Some people are put in our lives just to hold psychic mirrors up to our faces. They make us see, feel and become painfully aware of so much. Namely all that’s right and wrong in our lives. Like recognizing and acknowledging the huge, gaping voids that have been the obstacles in your life. You know the ones–you’ve hid them, covered them up with excuses or pills, alcohol or dead-end relationships.

Or you avoided them altogether.

Be thankful for these “personas interuptus”. Sometimes their presence is fleeting; sometimes they stay a long time and then again, some will overstay their welcome. Duration is for you to decide, but they do indeed serve a purpose.

When they’re not reminding you of the issues of your life, they can–if you let them–provide a welcomed reprieve from it. You’ll recognize them by the fact that you have a smile on your face. So THAT’S what that facial crack is!!!!! It’s NOT just a pie hole? I get it…it’s a representative symbol that you’re happy. Well, that and the unmistakable glow.

Before these people entered the scene, your happiness was doled out in tiny increments–dispensed by your own hand. True bliss had been fleeting; appearing infrequently. Like a real life “Brigadoon”, a village that magically appears on the Scottish horizon every 100 years–sans Gene Kelly’s pas de deux across a Hollywood sound stage, of course.

In the interim, it’s always been your responsibility to find your smile where you can. But know that happiness is out there. It’s a lurker.

“Unthinkably good things can still happen relatively late in the game.”

And they do.

I got started thinking about this the minute I concluded a guest appearance on a terrific podcast which focused on relationships with FaustaJulie from The Happy Catholic and the brain trust behind Sigmund, Carl and Alfred.

I like love. I like being in a relationship that’s stable and abiding and still allows me my freedom to pick and choose and to grow with him.

And in my particular case, I grow because of him.

I haven’t always felt this way. I am evolving before my very eyes.

I now fully grasp how important respect is and it is paramount. It is the respect you must have for your partner; that which you must have for yourself.

Respect is a principle component to being happy and happiness is key. But I can’t tell you how to find it. I’m convinced that for some people, on those rare occasions when the cosmos aligns just right and Lyndon LaRouche elects NOT to run for president for once, happiness can find you. When you least expect it.

And it’s in those “in between moments” when it hasn’t found you and you’re desperately looking for it, that I wish I could bottle up that particular endorphin-fueled jolt o’joy I’ve felt in my life. I’d mass market it as a panacea that would cure all the world’s ills.

Especially Bill Belichick’s.

But if I could mass produce then distribute joy, I am told that angry Islamic Mullahs, certain militants, terrorists, Klansmen, John Birch Society members, the New Black Panthers, gangs, MoveOn.org, ACLU devotees, Reverend Fred Phelps, SeanPenn, staffers at the Daily KOS, and even a few American politicians who choose to sit on the left hand of Mr. Lincoln in his Memorial, would be out of work. You see, hate and dissension are vast employers.

Bigger than Halliburton.

What am I trying to say here?

Stay hopeful. Whatever is happening now won’t last forever. I must remind myself of this and of this, too–when happiness comes around and often times, it manifests itself unconventionally, you have to be willing to recognize it, then reach for it, embrace it, welcome it when you can. You must always anticipate it being around the corner. Be open to surprises.

I vow to do this myself.

The reality is simple: The map to your life constantly changes. So do the legends that help you interpret it. Nothing is static.

Nothing.

And furthermore kids–self police. Check your work. Use your cosmic spell check. Just think how different Lech Walesa’s life would ‘ve been if he would’ve learned to spell “solidarity” correctly?

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In the long run, whether it comes to you or not, when it gets down to it, you’ve got to earn happiness. There’s no such thing as entitlement. It comes through arrears of faith and disappointment. And lessons learned– that which you savor from the good relationships; that which you absorb from the bad ones.

Perhaps, I can put it this way: happiness is a lot like buying season Cowboys season ticket. Sometimes, Tony Romo dates a blond pop star and can’t throw… sometimes he dates no one and plays better than ever.

What is it about what he does with his hands off the field??

Anwyay, for whatever reason, some seasons are better than others. It doesn’t matter; a true fan, loyal as the day is long, still buys the tickets and does so without guarantees of a successful season. You never, ever know what you’re getting. It’s the chance we take.

The Risk.

Gather your courage; pull the costume out of your ass, exit stage left. If you did your best, no one will even notice the costume gaff.

Sometimes you must be content to be thought foolish.

So, chill.

Don’t worry, it’ll all work out. I don’t know why or how it does, but it does. This existence is a continuous loop of checks and balances. It was intentionally created that way.

Bliss IS the consummate objective for a successful matriculation through life.

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3 comments on ““I’m Ready For My Close Up Now, Mr. Demille!”

  1. Heather says:

    Agreed.

  2. Kathy says:

    I used to think that ifI had just the right amount of money, success, the dream house. nice things. etc., then I would be complete and can be a happy persono. Then, my precious little grandson was born with severe medical problems that has caused him much pain at times and not the most pleasant and easy way of living his little life. He must be fed through a tube in his stomach and has to have a central line feeding him through his chest.

    He is prone to infections and is in the hospital at this time battling a bacteria infection that the rest of us could most likely get over. Through all of this he smiles, plays and loves. He knows no difference, yet when he is sick, he will look at you with these little understanding eyes that say this is the way it is and I will be happy in spite of it.

    This brings life into perspective. He is my hero and I thank God each day for this angel. This is more important than any material possession, successful career, a new home, money or anything we tend to cling or depend on for so-called happiness.

    As Fausta said, “good things happen in their time”.

    Thank you God for small blessings.

  3. pistolpete says:

    I find happiness to be a fleeting by-product of a satisfied mind. Happiness is getting the punch line of a well told joke. It also has something to do with brain chemistry, and mine is more than a little out of whack.

    As good as happiness feels, I much prefer deeply rooted joy, hope, and purpose. They don’t always produce happiness, but they give me a reason to get up in the morning and go about my day as best I can.

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