“Oooh, I Saw His Thingie!!”

I am in the process of seriously contemplating the possibility of maybe making a move out of state sometime in the near future, perhaps.

How’s that for non-committal?

In case that’s the case, I’m trying to get ahead of the moving game by going through things and throwing out extraneous Laurie stuff that have passed their emotional expiration date.

There’s a taped up box in my bedroom that hasn’t been opened in forever. The half inch of accumulated dust and dead flies on top would indicate said box hasn’t been touched in about three years….at least.

I must tackle it’s contents.

So, I popped a Benadryl, grabbed an Osama bin Laden approved box cutter and opened that sucker up. I found assorted what not… some old letters, a gently used notebook from a college Political Science class, an eight track tape (”Brain Salad Surgery” by Emerson, Lake and Palmer), a leather dog collar (don’t ask) and alas….I found my diary!!!!

Aw….my diary.

I hadn’t seen it in years. I started keeping my diary in 5th grade and I wrote in it daily, too. What memories!!

I thumbed through it, looking for a few passages:

September 21st, 1969

Cheryl and I made Bobby and Herbie jealous today. We wouldn’t let them swing with us.

(Yeah, that’s a tactic I still employ in courtship as an adult)

♥♥♥

November 16th, 1970

I tried out for the Fine Arts Appreciation and Recognition contest. It’s to see who can identify some of the world’s most famous art pieces and the artists who painted them. I hope I make the team! One picture will be easy to remember because the man in the painting was naked and I saw his thingie!

(Seeing thingies is also a tactic I still try to employ in courtship as an adult )

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I saw a man’s “thingie” in a painting…..wow.

I remember that.

How innocent I was to be so titillated by an artistic rendering of the male member. I thought about it for a minute and wondered why my tender, impressionable ten-year-old eyes were allowed to see that? Usually, the school district in which I was educated was far too provincial to be that progressive. Was it a mistake? Maybe, but I seemed to remember seeing a lot of “thingies” in the photos of portraits used in that art appreciation contest back then.

When you think about it, “thingies” are every where—and unedited.

For example:

The Vitruvian Man is a world-renowned drawing with accompanying notes created by Leonardo da Vinci around the year 1492 as recorded in one of his journals. It depicts a nude male figure in two superimposed positions with his arms and legs apart and simultaneously inscribed in a circle and square.

See it there? See it?? The Vitruvian thingie?? Just as big as life, thank you very much!

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Next, is the classic…Michelangelo’s David, sculpted from 1501 to 1504,. It is a masterpiece of Renaissance sculpture and one of Michelangelo’s two greatest works of sculpture, along with the Pietà. It is the David alone that almost certainly holds the title of the most recognizable statue in the history of art. It has become regarded as a symbol both of strength and youthful human beauty.

The musculature is perfect.

And sure enough, there’s Dave’s thingie, just as plain as the nose of my face.

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Our next offering is another masterpiece from Michelangelo. This is called The Creation of Adam and it’s a fresco on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, painted circa 1511. It illustrates the Biblical story from the Book of Genesis in which God breathes life into Adam, the so-called “first man”.

Then that makes this, the “first thingie”.

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And last but not least.…

Hillary Clinton.

Oh, you may not be able to see her big ol’ man thingie, but I assure you, it’s there!!