.
I’m in one of my moods today. Easily bothered…annoyed.
Cursed testosterone!!!
It’s been well established on my blog that I cannot and will not tolerate the incessant use of the word “like”; especially with the upturned inflection nonsense placed at the end of the utterance…the very one that so many of today’s “yoots” use.
I’ve turned around and walked away from conversations in mid sentence because I hate it so much. I would rather eat my own ass than be subjected to two minutes of that in a conversation.
I interviewed a woman who made reference to the window as a “winduh”
She called a potato as a “puhtatuh”… pillow was a “pelluh”
Add she insisted on saying “dunkey” for donkey. With the short “u” vowel sound. DUNKEY???? What the hell is a dunkey?
I was supposed to interview for an article on household tips but I have no idea what she said. I was transfixed by my irritation when she made the third annoying reference to “pelluhs” .
Lastly…
I met a nice guy recently. A few sparks even flew and I thought…maybe…then he told me that he had a MySpace account.
He’s 51 years old!!!
. 
This cartoon illustrates my point, perfectly and yes, it’s about that bad!
Sorry CJ, but if you’re over age 35 (after some deliberation, that number has gone up…from age 25 earlier) , you shouldn’t have a personal My Space account. If it’s for business? OK Otherwise, no.
For those who’ll argue this point, are you going to tell me there’s not something just a little creepy about a 51 year old man who has a My Space account and a Facebook, whatever the hell that it???.
Sorry, it’s creepy.
And then he sealed my repulsion by sending me e-mails using that ridiculous chat shorthand crap–which I LOATHE–you know the ones…LOL, LMAO. BRB and TY and NP. And he used those fucking emoticons!!!!!
How delightfully infantile.
He was as authentic a sit com laugh track.
And do not…I repeat…DO NOT think you’re being clever or cute by responding to me in a comment full of LOL and LMAO’s or emoticons .
If you do, I’ll find you.
Oh yes, I’ll hunt your ass down and drag you out of your house (Nazi style) and take you into to the woods (inbred, drunken Cajun style) where no one will hear you scream. (Helen Keller style) I’ll shove leaves in your mouth (Ace Hardware style) and then and then I’ll insult your footwear. (Carson Kressley style) Then, I’ll uh….uh….I’ll perform something witchy on your intestines which you’ll soon be wearing as a tattered and rather stinky boa!!
Key taught me field evisceration! Thanks Babe!
.
That was intentional..just for you, Fuzz Nuts
I know. That sentiment made me feel kinda funny in my lower tummy too. Wait! I’m 48. Lower tummy on me, could be my knees!!!
You see Dear Readers, Key is a MoonCoon and that means he’s a man (well, that’s stretching it a bit—which he does in the bathroom ALL damn day!!!) by day and a raccoon at night.
As a member of this phyla, he ONLY has a lifespan of about 14 years. 16 to 17 if he’s domesticated which is something no woman..human or coon could to to this rambling quadro-ped. No one could snare him into domesticity.
He’ll never be tamed. You should see the way he eats!
Food, too!
You just said a mouthful!!!!!
ecstatic human giggles
Human sounds of coughing. I’m allergic
Human expressing gratitude.
Then coughing up a quarter of your lung
ok…i’m breaking up the little fun you 2 “utes” have going on here.
I mean it’s cute and all, in a raccoony sorta way.
BTW….i have to take slight offense with the over 25 and having a myspace account…i’d agree with that for facebook (which is for the college crowd)…but i’ve actually been able to connect with old friends on myspace. I mean I’m not a psycho about it and update my page with music and slideshows and shit…but if i ever needed to reach out to a distant friend it’s not a bad thing.
There…i disagreed with you. First time I think I’ve ever disagreed with you on something. Sorry LK. Hate to air our “dirty laundry” in public but hopefully you’ll forgive me.
And yes…I just used an emotion to describe sadness. I realize that’s another no-no but I figured since we’re tight and all I could get away with it right?
CJ..you’re gonna tell me there’s nothing even remotely creepy about a 51 year old man–or anyone really let’s say over 37–to have a my space account?
It’s OK Jette. I still love you–even when you’re wrong.
See ya in Gotham soon BIG DADDY!!
I sent you an e-mail did you get it????
I’m with you on this Laurie–51 year old with a MySpace account is either horribly dorky, or a pedophile. I think it must be either. Most of MySpace is kids under 18 claiming to be 18 or older.
As for your irritations–the funniest thing you said was for people not to respond with comments full of LOL etc… Nice anticipation of simple and bad humor!
(Although I must admit I was considering it until I read that paragraph–I have so much to learn)
-Murphy
I’m with you Laurie, that is so weird and spooky to me! And I’m even older then that creepy old man of 51 years!He should not be on Myspace that is for the young people. Maybe we should start an old people Myspace? Ha!
Did you hear the one about Helen Keller masturbating? She moaned her hands off.
Sorry, couldn’t resist after seeing ‘Helen Keller style’ . . . . .
No…you’re right…it’s creepy for older gentlemen to be stalking younger “prey” on myspace…let them fuck around on e-harmony with the rest of the older crowd and leave myspace to the 30 and under crowd. 37 is a much more reasonable cutoff…especially since 30 is the new 20…and all that nonsense. So I guess technically I have another 7 years left of having a myspace account. I hereby promise to dissolve it once i hit 37! you heard it here first!
Ha…nice HK joke Frontier. I’d make a helen keller joke myself, but since my blog is entitled “the blog voted most likely to be read by helen keller”, I guess that’s the joke in and of itself. Hopefully i don’t need to explain that to anyone here…although i actually did have to explain that to someone once…it didn’t go over too well. It was like hearing gilbert godfried tell the cross country flight joke right after 9/11. Nothing but a room full of crickets.
Although i shouldn’t say crickets around here…some of the racoon family running around here may get too excited.
LK: I got your email…I’m on it.
And I’m looking forward to your visit…hopefully it’s not over the 2nd or 4th weekends in October since I’ll be down in your state…wouldn’t that be ironic?
Hey pushes - I clicked on your blog. Now how do I get the little bumps off my screen?
I’m happy to report that I deleted my personal myspace four months ago but kept up my business one which I’m LIKE never on. Sorry, you said no emoticons.
[...] youre being clever or cute by responding to me in a comment full of LOL and LMAOs… source: Irritations, Laurie [...]